The Ghost Inside, by Broken Bells

Another video I made, The Ghost Inside, by Broken Bells.  I like the song, I like the way this video looks.  I hope you do, too.

How do I love ya? Lemme sum it up

Apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning


How do I love ya? Lemme sum it up
I love ya pretty much as far as my soul can reach,
If I had one, but I don't, so bad analogy there...
I love ya more than I love eatin' hamburgers an' fries,
An' I can tell ya, I really really love eatin' 'em!
Oh yeah, an' I love ya even when ya get all weepy and stuff
An' blame me for everything,
Which, when I think of it, is probably true,
But hey!  I'm a guy, what d'ya expect?
Yeah, I love ya even then.
And I also love ya when I'm feelin' low
'cause my TV is on the blink
And there's nothin' better to do but just talk with ya
About things ya like but that bore the hell outta me,
And stuff like that,
Yeah, even then I love ya.
And then, when I think how much I love ya and miss ya,
And I think, yeah, I could do this all my life,
Jus' lovin' ya an' lovin' ya
'Til, like they say, death do us part,
And then even after that, jus' keep on lovin' ya...
If I had a soul, that is,
Which I don't...so, I guess it's only until death, then...
Right.

Police Barred From Penis Enlargement

No, I am not making this up.  This is an actual news report from Indonesia:

Police Barred From Penis Enlargement

Jakarta

Apr 23, 2010

(Reuters) - Forget about getting a job as a police officer in Indonesia's Papua if you have had your penis enlarged. You won't get it, according to local media reports citing the Papua police chief.

An applicant "will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged," said Papua police chief Bekto Suprapto, quoted on local website Kompas.com.

"If he has, he will be considered unfit to join the police or the military."

The ban was applied since the unnatural size causes "hindrance during training," said police spokesman Zainuri Lubis in Jakarta, quoted by news portal Detik.com.

Indonesia's remote easternmost province is home to Papuan tribes, many of whom are known for wearing penis gourds.

A low-level separatist insurgency has waged in the resources-rich part of Indonesia for decades and there is a heavy police and military presence there.

Papuans use a local technique to achieve the enlargement, according to a sexologist quoted by local newspaper Jakarta Globe, wrapping the penis with leaves from the "gatal-gatal" (itchy) tree so that it swells up "like it has been stung by a bee," the expert said.

So, I wonder what an (allegedly imaginary) conversation with a potential police applicant would sound like:

Possible dialog with an applicant:

 Inspector: Mr. Tatakalataklamanbu, congratulations, you have successfully passed the written exam!

Applicant: Oh!  I am so happy!  My mother is so happy!!!  My dead grandfather is so happy!

Inspector: Just one more thing....

Applicant: What is that?

Inspector: Let me see your penis.

Applicant: ??  Say again?

Inspector: Let me see your penis.  It's part of the exam.

Applicant: Ok.  Here.

Inspector: Oh my god!!!  That's huge!!!  Sorry, you flunk!  Get out!

Applicant: Why?

Inspector: No one can have that large a penis unless it has been enlarged!  Next applicant!

Applicant: No...this is all mine!  Every inch!!

Inspector: No way!!  That's just not possible!

Applicant: In my tribe, I am considered tiny, my nickname is "he who has tiny peepee like python"....

Inspector: No, you're organ is just too big to be natural.

Applicant: Ok, let me see your penis.

Inspector: What?

Applicant: Let me see your penis!

Inspector: This isn't grade school "show and tell"...I'm the inspector here.

Applicant: I just want to know what you think a normal penis size is....so, show me.

Inspector: Well, ok...see?

Applicant: [In tears]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  I have never seen such a tiny pecker in all my life!!!

Inspector: [Red faced]: It's a normal-sized penis....

Applicant: No it's not.  It's like a tiny earth worm!  Did you write the penis rules?

Inspector: Me?  No.  My boss did.  What do you mean, "like a worm?"

Applicant: Your boss must have the tiniest pecker in the world!  Even tinier than yours!

Inspector: Well, rules are rules, you can't be a police officer.  Your penis is too big, and so you must have enlarged it.

Applicant: Your penis is too small...it can't be natural...You must have cut most of it off!

Inspector: Get out!  See if I show you my penis any more!

The End of the World

The End of the World....Yes, there once was a time when I believed in the Apocalypse, a fiery war. the heavens opening up, and Satan and his legions pitched in a battle with the Archangel at the end, when the world as we now know it would come screaming to a halt.

2000....Doomsday!

Back then, when I was a believer, the End of the World was going to happen in the year 2000.  All the prophecies were vaguely written, to be sure, but the "soothsayers" of the various religions had a pretty good gauge on when it was to materialize.  What better time than to have the Y2K Krisis....signaling the inevitable collapse of man's (yeah, verily, even woman's) sinful ways on this rock.  Oh yes, I believed (when I was young), fervently believed in the end of all things ... not in a rapture as such, but certainly in an apocalypse.  Even though I wanted to ascend to heaven, I also wanted to see the forces of evil duking it out with the heavenly superheroes, I wanted to see pillars of smoke, cities rendered asunder, bodies of the dead (wicked and sinful, to be sure, but unfortunately, not zombies) scattered in the streets....In short, I wanted to see a really good movie!

The movie 2012 cops out all over the place, with its preachy Christian themes and the Mayan/Incan hook that they (not the Jesus churches) predicted the end.  Still, the movie has been registering some seismic waves in society.

2012, or ????

According to a recent Pew Research Center survey, 41% of Americans now think the apocalypse will occur by or before 2050...i.e., that Jesus will return.  Evangelical Christians are more likely than other mainline Christian religions to believe in the Second Coming (60% vs. about 1/3 for mainline Protestants and Catholics).  It appears education is a factor....among Americans, only 19% with a college education believe the second coming will happen by 2050, vs 59% with a high school education or less.  And regional factors are also at work....a majority of Southerners believe this, whereas believers in the rest of the country are in a minority.

Maybe It Is 2012 After All....

2012 is when I retire.....Hey!  Maybe I am the Great Satan everyone is worried about!  Or, better yet, I will be ready for my own Second Coming!  Beware world!  For verily I have spoken!